


Beggars at the Feast

by Ivy_B



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Body Image, Charles/Erik hint, F/M, Food Issues, Possible Azazel/Mystique hint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivy_B/pseuds/Ivy_B
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Explores the early days of the Brotherhood, Raven's relationship with Magneto and her evolution into Mystique.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt back in 2011 in LJ's 1stclass_kink , asking for Emma making a critical comment to Raven about weight/dieting and involving Erik in the argument, expecting him to agree, but he (having witnessed enough emaciated bodies to last him a lifetime) has quite a different view. Bonus points for Erik's own food insecurities, that Raven picks up on.

The first night, after the beach, they spend at the Hellfire Club. Angel makes the introductions and Azazel shows them around. They're in the private living area for the Club's members, far enough from the dancers that they can hardly hear the music. When they get to the kitchen area, Erik opens the fridge and cabinets, inspecting the content closely. There isn't much, seeing as how Shaw's people spent most of their time on a Sub. Erik's people, Raven reminds herself. _'They're our people now'_. 

She feels like she just tumbled through the rabbit hole and nothing makes sense anymore. Just this morning everything was right with the world- She was in her home, with her brother and friends and they were going to stop a madman from starting World War III. Now she's standing by Erik's side, under the same roof as the people she tried to stop and Charles-

Her breath hitches and she tries to calm her racing heart. Charles is fine, he has to be. Hank said the uniforms were bullet proof and there was no blood on the bullet. He was just winded, that's all. It probably still hurt, but he's fine. Moira would have found a way to get them back home. _'Maybe we shouldn't have left so fast,'_ Raven bites her lower lip. _'Maybe we should have gotten Azazel to drop them off first.'_ She glances at the red demon and he looks her up and down, a lascivious smile gracing his face and a hint of sharp teeth. She blushes and quickly looks away and tries to catch Erik's eye. But Erik doesn't notice, too caught up in his own thoughts. She doesn't like the look she sees in his eyes, the deadness of it.

"Erik-" She starts.

"We should get some sleep," Erik tells the room at large, avoiding her gaze. He walks off, his shoulders stiff and his step heavy. She thinks of him cradling Charles' head on his lap, keeping everyone away and dropping the missiles. She wonders, not for the first time, how close the two of them really got and what went on during their 'chess matches'. 

Jealously flares in the pit of her stomach as she thinks of Charles and his cheesy pick up lines and the string of one night stands he used to bring home. She would have done anything, been _**anyone**_ , if he'd just look at her, really look at her. All she wanted was for him to look at her with half the adoration he'd look at Erik with. For him to treat her as more than just his baby sister, more than just a cute pet he needed to take care of. _'Just the first in a long line of strays,'_ Raven thinks to herself. 

"Come on, I'll show you to your room," Angel smiles at her tentatively, her singed wing twitching slightly. It's an olive branch Raven doesn't want to accept, but she nods tersely. She still remembers the time they spent together at the CIA- her, Angel, Hank, Alex, Sean and Armando. They were just being kids- showing off their powers, playing around and creating code names for themselves, like it was all one big game. Well it's not a game now, it's a war and while Angel and Raven are on the same side, she can't help but feel resentful towards Angel. 

Angel, who pretended to be their friend- Raven finally thought she had a girl friend- only to stab them all in the back when she went with Shaw. Armando died because of her, trying to shield _**her**_ , and she still went with that murdering psychopath. And Raven might have accepted her choice, if she hadn't tried to kill Sean and Alex on the beach. How could she attack them without even a moment's hesitation? Did the time she spent with them mean nothing to her? Was she just pretending all along, waiting for a better deal?

Angel leads her quietly to a comfortable room with a fully stocked mini-bar, a double bed, a closet and no windows. Angel wisely leaves her alone, closing the door after her. Raven lies down on the bed warily, shifting into her natural nude self. She covers herself with ridiculously soft sheets and wonders what Charles would think about the room.

 _'He'd probably say it's a very lovely prison cell'_ , Raven smiles to herself. She wonders if he'd possibly change his mind and join them. A small vindictive part of her hopes he never does, knowing that she could never compete with Charles. That whenever Erik and Charles were in the same room, it was like nothing else in the world existed, but them. The bigger part just wants her big brother back. Wants him to be happy, wants to go back _**home**_. But most of all she wants to erase that dead look she saw earlier in Erik's eyes, a look that says that there's a piece missing in his heart he might never get back.

~*~

Raven sleeps fretfully that night and wakes up at dawn. She debates whether to create clothes or not- Erik seemed to think she should be in her natural form, but she wasn't comfortable yet around the others. In the end she puts on a bathrobe she finds in the closet and pads down to the kitchen area, hoping to be able to dredge up something for breakfast. Maybe cereal or some crackers, she thought she saw some in the pantry. When she reaches the kitchen, she sees that Riptide and Angel are already there, a dazed and confused look on their faces.

"What is it?" She asks worriedly. Did the CIA find out where they went? Are they after them?

"Magneto went shopping," Angel says slowly, obviously still shocked. It takes Raven a moment to register the name and then she tastes something bitter in her mouth. She swallows down her anger. Magneto- that was the name _**she**_ gave Erik. How _**dare**_ Angel use it like she has a right? 

She wants to yell at her, to smash her stupid friendly expression, but instead she asks: "Shopping?" 

Angel motions with her head in the general direction of the fridge and pantry, so Raven heads over there cautiously, wondering what he could have possibly bought that freaked the two out. She opens the pantry and her eyes widen. There are piles of canned foods, boxes of crackers and cereals, packages of pastas and rice. She opens the fridge and sees vegetables and fruit, cheeses and milk. She reaches for the door of the freezer and sees frozen chicken and what looks suspiciously like ice cream. 

"What the-?"

"Good, you're all up."

Raven jumps a foot in the air and the three of them turn guiltily to see Erik and Azazel standing in the entrance, having just popped in. 

"You bought food," Raven says stupidly. "Wait, _**when**_ did you buy all this?"

"If you didn't eat yet, you should," Erik tells her, before addressing the rest. "Pack whatever you need, we're moving."

"Moving?" Raven asks, while she pours some Cheerios and milk into a bowl. "Moving where?"

"There's a safe house Azazel and I scouted, not far from the Canadian border. We'll stay there until we know how the Government plans to proceed and then we'll move on."

"But we just got here!" Angel exclaims. "And I dig this place, it's got _**style**_."

"This is Shaw's club, we can't stay here," Erik's voice sends chills down Raven's spine. She has no idea what the history was between Shaw and Erik, but she can feel the waves of cold hatred rolling off of Erik. "And I am _**not**_ running a strip club."

"So we just leave it?" Angel asks frowning. "This place has got to be worth a fortune."

Erik stops for a moment, considering. "You're right, we should sell it. We should use all of Shaw's finances to support our cause. Azazel-" he turns to the man besides him. "Who would know about the Hellfire Club's finances, now that Shaw is dead?"

"Emma Frost- the telepath- knows where the bodies are buried," Azazel says, sharing a look with Riptide. "Shaw found her very useful with _**many**_ things."

"The CIA have her," Erik says, contemplating. "How loyal was she to Shaw and can she be persuaded to join us?"

"She shared his vision," Riptide says carefully, his accent halting his speech. "But he never treated her well. I don't think she will mourn his death. Free her from the CIA and she will probably follow you."

"I see," Erik muses. "A telepath could be very useful on our side." 

_'I bet you wish it was a different telepath, though,_ ' Raven thinks, as she eats a spoonful of her Cheerios. 

"We'll talk more once we've settled at the safe house," Erik decides finally. "You have one hour to get ready, then we leave." He turns and goes upstairs. Azazel disappears, leaving Riptide, Angel and Raven alone in the kitchen.

"I don't get him," Angel mutters to herself angrily. "Why go to all the trouble of stocking the pantry and the fridge if we weren't going to stay? Why bother?" She gets up angrily and thuds upstairs. 

Raven doesn't have an answer, but the question lingers with her, making her feel uneasy. Erik's behavior sparks a memory of herself when she was little, not long after she moved in to his home in Westchester.

~*~

_She used to keep a box in her closet, under a pile of blankets. She had just put an extra item in the box, when Charles came in without knocking. "Raven! You wouldn't believe what I just read-"_

_"Charles!" She spun guiltily, trying to shove the closet door closed, hoping he wouldn't notice._

_"Wouldn't notice what?" He asked curiously, peering at her intently._

_"Nothing," she said shakily, trying very hard not to think about the box in her closet._

_"You have a box in your closet?" He asked, getting excited. "What's in it?"_

_"None of your business!" She raised her voice. "And stop going into my head- you promised!"_

_"I know, I'm sorry," Charles was suddenly abashed. "I don't mean to, it's just… You're thinking really loud and I don't know how to **not** hear." He looked so crestfallen that she immediately felt guilt gnawing at her insides. This was Charles, who wasn't afraid of her blue form, who let her live at his house with his family. _

_"I'm sorry I got angry," she told the floor._

_"It's ok," he shrugged, his eyes filled with compassion. "I just don't want us to keep any secrets from each other."_

_"I'm not- it's not a secret," she said. "It's just stupid. You'll think I'm stupid and laugh at me." She sat down on her bed and tried not to look at him. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her._

_"I promise not to laugh," he said gently. "And I won't tell a soul, I promise." She looked up into his kind eyes and something in her caved. She nodded once before walking over to her closet and dragging out the box. She took a deep breath, before opening the lid and letting him see inside._

_He looked at the content of the box, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "But that's-"_

_"Food, I know," she said quietly. There were cans and cheese crackers, a loaf of bred and bottles of water._

_"The kitchen is fully stocked; you don't need to keep food in your room." He said slowly, trying to understand._

_**'You don't get it,'** she thought. **'It might not always be there, or I might not-'** She stopped her train of thought and shook her head. "I like to have food in my room, because… Because I might not always want to go to the kitchen. What if I get hungry in the middle of the night and I'm too tired to go? So I have food here. I told you it was silly." She breathed out the lie and hoped he didn't hear her thoughts._

_"Alright," he said, clearly knowing there's more but not willing to push. "But I still don't think you're stupid." His eyes were filled with love and understanding and she took a moment to bask in it, to let Charles' warmth chase away all her fears._

_"You said you read something," she prodded him and his eyes lit up with excitement. He started babbling about Darwin and evolution and she zoned him out. She never could keep up with that brain of his, but for now she was content to just let his lilting voice wash over her and take her away from all her thoughts and worries. She lay down on the bed and listened to him until she dozed off._

~*~

In the end they take the fridge with them to their new (temporary) headquarters and a bag filled with cans and packages from the pantry. Azazel grumbles something in Russian, but makes all the necessary trips. After that day, Erik is busy planning- how to rescue Emma Frost, how to recruit new mutants, different responses to different reactions the Government might have, some strategic maneuvers. Erik doesn't have time to do shopping, but he eyes the contents of the fridge critically and counts the cans and packages. 

Nobody comments on his strange behavior, but Raven goes out once a week and makes sure that the pantry and fridge are full. One day when she comes back with bags from the market, shedding her blonde persona on her way to the kitchen, Erik looks up from blueprints he and Azazel are going over and watches her restock. She can swear she can see gratitude in his eyes, before the mask comes down again and he goes back to his battle plans. Or maybe it's just a reflection off that shiny helmet of his.

A week later they infiltrate the CIA and a few things change from that day on. The first is that they only use their code names, even among themselves- their 'Mutant names', as Magneto calls it. Raven might have come up with the name 'Mystique', but that doesn't mean it's not an adjustment in their every day lives. The second is that Magneto seems to have found his inner theatrics, because he wears a ridiculous costume and cape whenever he's out in public. The third is that they bring Emma Frost back with them. 

She eyes the safe house with scorn and brushes off a chair before sitting in it. "This is… Homey," she says with a tight grin. "When can we leave?"

"We need to secure Shaw's finances, before we make any further plans," Magneto tells her pointedly. 

"And that's where I come in," her smile is as perfect as a beauty pageant's. She turns her penetrating gaze on Angel and Raven. "But where do you two come in? I see Shaw didn't bother waiting before getting himself a new 'queen'," she says to Angel, who winces slightly. "I'm not mad at you sugar, I expected no less from him." She looks at Raven, as if dissecting her like an insect and Raven wishes she had some clothes on, so she'd feel less exposed. "I see we're taking on charity cases as well."

"Mystique is an asset and an equal here," Magneto's tone brokers no argument. "We are all brethren here, there's a place among us for any of our kind who chooses to join."

Raven tries not to preen at Magneto's words, but she can't help feeling smug. Magneto needs _**her**_ , she's _**'an asset'**_. He was the one who reached out for her on the beach and asked her to join him. He called her beautiful, told her she was perfect just the way she was and kissed her gently. It might have been chaste, but it was a promise that she will make sure he keeps. Emma eyes her coolly and Raven knows there will be trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Raven watches Emma carefully after that. Emma quickly takes to Angel and falls back into routine with Riptide and Azazel. She mostly ignores Raven's existence, unless she has a scathing remark or feels the need to rummage in her mind. Raven resents her for that- Charles always tried to respect her privacy, but Emma just doesn't care; she digs in with scalpels and tweezers until she finds the information she needs. Raven knows it's not just her, Emma does this with everyone- everyone except Magneto of course, who doesn't take off his helmet (sometimes Raven thinks he even sleeps with it). Raven knows it frustrates Emma that she can't access his thoughts and memories, can't gauge his reactions and intentions. Instead, she walks around in her skimpy lingerie and makes sure she has ample cleavage when she leans over financial documents with Magneto.

Raven isn't stupid, she knows what Emma's up to. She'd be less obvious if she wore a sign that said _**'fuck me'**_. Magneto seems oblivious, or if he knows, he's simply ignoring it. His eyes roam when she leans in, but he keeps his hands to himself and the helmet on. Emma can't seem to get the hint and she keeps doing it, as if hoping to wear Magneto down into submission. _'It's pretty pathetic,'_ Raven thinks to herself. _'That she feels she has to screw the boss to be somebody.'_

Emma's eyes narrow slightly, though she doesn't look up from the documents she's showing Magneto. Suddenly an icy voice slips into Raven's mind. **_'I think it's sad when a girl keeps looking hopelessly for someone to love her. First your brother, then… Hank, I believe? And now our fearless leader. Like an attention starved toddler.'_**

 _'At least I don't sleep around to get ahead,'_ Raven thinks viciously at Emma. _'At least I've got some self respect.'_

 ** _'Do you now?'_** Emma laughs in her head, the sound like nails on a blackboard. **_'All it takes is for a guy to tell you, you should walk around naked and you abandon your own family. Some self respect.'_**

Raven doesn't acknowledge the remark, though she feels it twist a knot in her stomach. _'He won't fall for it you know, he's not **Shaw** ,'_

 ** _'Oh honey, he's a man,'_** Emma snorts in her mind. **_'And you really can't compete. No man would pick a blue, scaly lizard over a gorgeous busty blonde.'_**

 _'Magneto's not like that,_ ' she tries to convince them both. The look Emma gives her is almost pitying, which is more than Raven can handle. She turns around and stalks into the designated kitchen area. She makes herself some hot cocoa and tries not to think about the two of them, going over finances and plans late into the night. She steels herself and decides that she's going to fight back. It'd be one thing to lose Magneto to Charles- she could live with that, but she is _**not**_ going to lose him _**her**_.

~*~

If Magneto is even aware of the fight over him, he doesn't acknowledge it; which is a good thing, Raven thinks, because it would just inflate his ego. Isn't it every guy's fantasy to have two women fighting over him? She knows the others are at least aware of the tension between her and Emma, if not the cause of it; she's pretty sure she caught Azazel smirking knowingly at them one day, but that could also be his default mode. 

Emma's outfits get more and more outlandish, though considering Magneto's recent wardrobe change, that's not saying much nowadays (Seriously though- a _**cape**_? He looks like a cartoon villain) and she spends more time bending over for no apparent reason. Raven has caught her doing obscene things with an ice cube, a Popsicle, lollipop and basically anything she can shove in her mouth and make the guys salivate. Azazel and Riptide enjoy the show, even though Angel glares and pokes at Riptide whenever he stares too long, but with Magneto you never know. That helmet covers half of his face and he's the king of blank expressions. 

Raven isn't as obvious in her technique, mostly because she doesn't _**have**_ much seduction experience. She's had plenty of experience in standing on the sideline, watching Charles work his lame pickup lines, probably with a slight nudge from his powers. But Raven's seduction attempts are summed up with sitting on Hank's lap and showing up naked in Erik's bed (he was still Erik back then, at least in her eyes). Both cases never actually went further than a kiss, so they can't be counted as a glowing success. 

In the end Raven decides that the first order of business is to get close to Magneto and break through that impenetrable wall he keeps around him. So she asks him to train her in their spare time. Magneto throws sharp metallic objects at her using his powers, while she ducks and rolls and jumps, trying to avoid them. He always stops them on time, before they could cut her, though he does allow an occasional nick and cut, to make it more real and serve as a reminder. 

She starts walking around naked all the time, but she keeps telling herself it's because she's more comfortable in her body and not an attempt at seducing their leader (and she sometimes believes it too).

Raven also tries to be as involved as possible in any planning that goes on. Magneto doesn't send her on many missions, so she tries to still contribute somehow and learn about strategy. Magneto doesn't seem to mind her company and she enjoys watching him think and utilizing his Nazi-hunting talents for the good of Mutant kind. Raven knows that Magneto was a Nazi-hunter not from him- God forbid he actually talk about his past- but from Riptide of all people.

~*~

_"I'm not sure if I can hurt anyone," Raven admitted to Riptide a day before they were going into the CIA facility to rescue Emma Frost. She wasn't speaking to Angel, Azazel scared her and she wasn't going to admit to any weaknesses in front of Erik. "I've never done it before and I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I even **want** to."_

_"Then don't come," he said curtly. "If it's kill or be killed, you need to be able to kill. We need to trust you to have our backs, to be with us all the way."_

_"I'm with you guys, all the way," Raven said, biting her lower lip. "I believe in the Mutant Cause, us against the world and everything. I just don't want to hurt anyone." She lowered her eyes. "I guess I will if I have to, if it's 'kill or be killed', like you said. I just… This isn't easy for me. I don't know how it's so easy for you guys- I mean Azazel practically made it an art form and Erik didn't even blink when he aimed those missiles at thousands of people, ready to kill them."_

_"Experience," Riptide said dismissively. "It's never easy at first, but it gets easier. When Magneto tried to attack Shaw that first time on the submarine, Emma read his mind. He's been traveling across Europe killing Nazis all these years."_

_"Really?" Raven asked, horrified and curious and impressed all in one. "Was he-?"_

_"Don't ask me," Riptide shook his head. "Emma just told us he had a history with Shaw and he hunts Nazis. It's not my business. All I care about is that he knows how to plan an operation and has the guts to see it through. If you can't see this through, do us all a favor and stay behind, we can't afford to baby-sit during battle." He finished and walked away, leaving her flustered and embarrassed._

_The next day she joined them, the operation was a success and she didn't even have to hurt anyone in the process. But Raven was too pragmatic to hope that this would always be the case- she knew this was a third line in the sand she crossed and it wouldn't be the last, there'll be many more. The first was deciding not to take Hank's serum and the second was that day on the beach when she left the life she knew behind and decided to fight for the cause of all Mutant kind._

~*~

"Again," Azazel instructs Raven, as he circles around her, his tail cutting the air left and right. Raven attacks him again- she tries feigning right and kicking his midsection with her left foot- but he catches her foot with his tail and spins her in the air. She lands hard on the training mat, the wind knocked out of her. Raven decided that she needed some hand-to-hand combat training and even though he kinda scared her, she asked Azazel if he would train her. The red demon nodded and grinned at her with vicious glee. 

Raven is happy for the training and she's getting stronger, faster and more flexible, but being around Azazel is unnerving. Whenever she's around him, she can't help but remember the sound of screams and people going splat against the ground. Can't help but remember all those men he killed at the CIA headquarters. And he almost killed Hank at the beach- he would have, if it weren't for her. 

"Get up, again," Azazel instructs her, that damn tail of his swishing to and fro. His red skin has a thin layer of sweat and suddenly a hysterical thought pops into her head- _'if we hook up and have a baby, it'll probably be purple with scales and a tail'_. The thought is so absurd she can't help but chuckle.

"Laugh later, fight now," Azazel says impatiently, his tail's movements are sharper, like a twitchy knife. Raven gets up slowly, trying to think of a way around that damn tail. If it weren't for the tail, she could get a decent jab, she just knows it! Her eyes narrow suddenly with an idea and she grins tightly to herself. She attacks him again, this time a series of rapid kicks and punches, trying to get him off balance and distract him. He matches her blow for blow and backs away, giving him some maneuverability and giving her room for her plan. 

She delivers a roundhouse kick to his face and shifts at the same time. He tries to grab her with his tail, only to be met with an identical tail twisting them together. He looks up and it's his own face staring back at him, grinning viciously and exposing sharp teeth. He hesitates for just a moment, but it's all she needs. She kicks his solar plexus, bending him over in a sharp exhale, before delivering an upper cut to his chin. He falls down on his back, momentarily dazed. She shifts back and stands over him triumphantly, offering him a hand. 

"You cheated," he wheezes, but takes her hand and climbs to his feet. "Good," he smiles. "But next time I will cheat too," the smile he gives her tells her of the bruises and sores in store for her in the near future. But right now, she couldn't care less and her smile widens. She knocked Azazel down for the first time and proved that her powers can be useful in a fight. "Eat protein," he instructs her. "Good for building muscles." He nods to her once before vanishing in a red haze, the smell of sulfur intermingling with the strong scent of sweat. 

"Shower first," she says to the empty room. "Good for hygiene."

~*~

Raven sits in the kitchen, enjoying her omelet sandwich (one of the few things she knows how to make). She's in a good mood- she finally beat Azazel for the first time and she thinks she even got some respect from him. She feels giddy and hungry and it seems like nothing could dampen her mood, when Emma, Angel and Riptide walk into the kitchen area. She tenses, but continues to eat her sandwich, trying to pretend they, or rather _**she**_ , weren't there.

"Oh honey, are you sure you want to eat that?" Emma asks her sweetly. "Bread is just fattening and the yolk in the egg has so much cholesterol and calories."

"It also has protein," Raven answers defensively. "You know- for building muscles?"

"Then you should definitely be eating more eggs," Emma says placidly as she makes herself a cup of tea. "Turn those love handles into muscles so you can look all masculine and manly."

Raven thanks her blue skin that it's nearly impossible to see the blush that is creeping up her face.

"Hey!" Angel says indignantly. "She doesn't have any 'love handles'- girl looks _**good**_."

"She could definitely get rid of some baby fat then," Emma shrugs. "Of course with her power, she can always just hide it, I guess." She turns her insincere smile on Riptide. "What do you think, sugar?" Azazel chooses that moment to suddenly appear in the kitchen. Riptide walks over to him, whispers something in his ear and they both disappear in a puff of smoke. Emma sighs dramatically. " _ **Men**_."

"What about them?" Magneto asks tiredly as he enters the kitchen. He goes through the pantry and the fridge, eyeing the content critically, before pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

"I was just saying that I needed a man's opinion," Emma turns her laser smile on him. 

_'Oh please don't, please don't,'_ Raven thinks frantically, which just makes Emma's smile take on a more sinister tone.

"About what?" Magneto asks suspiciously.

"Don't you think it's a woman's duty to maintain her slim figure?" Emma asks him sweetly.

Magneto frowns, setting his glass down on the counter. "I'm not sure if I'm following."

"I was just telling Mystique here," Emma tosses her hair in her direction and Raven wishes the ground would swallow her whole then and there. "That she should get rid of her baby fat and slim down."

"She looks fine," he says gruffly, taking a slow sip from his drink and not bothering even glancing in Raven's direction. All the same, Raven feels a happy flutter deep in her stomach at his words and a smile forming on her face.

"Maybe," Emma says noncommittally. "But she could look better. When Shaw was in charge, he made sure all the girls in the club stayed skinny."

"Did he now?" There's an edge to his tone, like a dagger, but Emma pays it no heed as she ambles on.

"Oh yes. He put us all on a diet of low-Carbs and no sweets. Sometimes we even fasted for a day if we gained 5 pounds-"

Every metallic item in the kitchen starts to shake angrily. Raven can hear the cutlery in the drawers snarl and hiss, while the salt and pepper shakers fly and shatter on the wall. Magneto's fingers tighten around his glass, but his visage remains a neutral and cold mask. Angel and Raven exchange worried glances. They've never seen Magneto not in full control of his powers. He's scary when he's in control, seeing him like this is _**terrifying**_.

"He had you starve yourselves?" He asks, his tone like quiet thunder.

Emma gulps and tries to back peddle. "We _**fasted**_ and it was only for a day-"

"Jews fast for a day to atone for their _**sins**_ ," Magneto says tightly. "You shouldn't fast for _**vanity**_."

"It's not vanity if it's true. Everyone knows slim women are more attractive," she shimmies closer to him, her cleavage right in his line of sight and her finger traces the curve of his jaw. "Tell me you disagree."

Magneto grabs her delicate wrist in his hand and leans in, like a shark closing in on his prey. Emma tenses, but shows no other visible signs of discomfort.

"Have you ever truly starved, Ms. Frost?" Magneto asks slowly. Emma gives a quick shake of her head. Magneto's mouth pulls in an ugly smile. "I have. It's not very pleasant, or something to be proud of. It's cruel and feral. The hunger gnaws at your insides, until you feel it devour every organ in its path and your stomach sticks to your back. I've seen the 'skinny' men and women Shaw was so proud of- they were nothing more than walking skeletons yearning with their whole being for one more bowl of soup or piece of bread." His voice drops beyond freezing level. "I will have none of that here. Everyone here will eat regularly, there will be no more _**'fasting'**_. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Emma says tightly. Magneto backs off then and leaves the kitchen, his half finished whiskey still on the counter. The three share an uncomfortable silence, not looking at one another. Finally Emma gets up and brushes off invisible dust from her clothes. 

"One of you should clean up this mess," Emma says and leaves Raven and Angel sitting at the kitchen table. 

"I've never seen him like that," Raven whispers mostly to herself.

"Well I've never seen _**Emma**_ like that," Angel whispers to Raven conspiratorially. "She was so emotional- I think I actually saw a frown line." Raven snorts in response and the two of them start giggling, while they go to get a broom to sweep up the glass.


	3. Chapter 3

Raven decides that she hates Nebraska. She, Magneto and Riptide arrived yesterday, with the help of Azazel. They were following the trail of minor earthquakes, that preceded small robberies, from Pennsylvania to Illinois and Iowa- before stopping in Nebraska two days ago. The newspaper printed a picture of a young man who was seen right before the robberies in all three states. Magneto figured it had to be a Mutant causing it and someone with the power of earthquakes could be very useful. Emma was on a recon mission with Angel in Washington D.C and Azazel was teleporting from one location to the other. Azazel dropped them off on the outskirts of a snowy Omaha and they were _**supposed**_ to meet back there the next day to touch base, with or without the new Mutant. Obviously that didn't _**quite**_ pan out.

Everything started out swell. They got to Omaha and split up in to two rental cars, covering as much ground in the big city as they could. Magneto was, for the first time since the beach, without his helmet and cape, having decided when they arrived that it would look too conspicuous. Raven also figures, though she doesn't say anything, that they were far enough away from Westchester or Washington D.C for Magneto not to have to worry about his mind being read or altered. They went to farms, diners, bars and fishing resorts; they casually asked about the Earthquake from two days ago, trying to glean some information from the locals. Magneto found an abandoned car just outside of the city limits, matching a description of the getaway car from Illinois. 

"If he abandoned his car, he'll need a replacement," Magneto muses. "He wouldn't have been able to drive out in the blizzard and the roads only cleared up today. I'll check if there are any reports on missing cars, you go check if he went to an auto repair shop or a car rental." Raven shifts into a local reporter and tells Mike, the mechanic, that she's here writing a story about the earthquake that happened hours before the blizzard and about a stranger who appeared in three other States, before an earthquake. She shows him the picture from the paper.

"I saw him the other day," Mike says, wiping his greasy hands on a piece of cloths. "Fella with a heavy Greek accent, kinda hard to miss,"

"What did he want?" Raven asks, pretending to take notes. 

"His car broke down, a couple of miles outside of Omaha. He wanted some spare parts, wouldn't have his car towed into the city," Mike shrugs his shoulders. "I went out to take a look- told him he'd best spend his money on a new ride than trying to fix that tin can."

"Then what happened?"

"The blizzard happened. Offered to give him a ride into the city, he turned me down, wanted somewhere with less people or something. He said he'd pay for a ride, so I drove him to Platte River State Park. They've got cabins there to rent and all."

"So you don't know if he got a new ride or left town?" Raven asks finally. 

"Not through me," Mike gives her a long look. "You said you were writing about that earthquake- you think that guy did it? How?"

"I'm not sure yet," Raven closes her notepad. "Thank you for you time."

She meets Magneto back at the Inn. They have about three hours before the time they agreed with Riptide to reconvene and there is no sign of him. 

"No stolen cars," Magneto tells her, once she relays her information. "If he stayed at a cabin to avoid the blizzard, it would be too far to walk into the city to get a new car, but he might have hitchhiked from the highway."

"Or he might still be there," Raven says pointedly. "We need to find out."

"You stay here and I'll drive out to this place and see if he's there," Magneto says, getting up. 

"You can't face this guy alone, not without backup," Raven argues. 

"I don't plan on 'facing him'," Magneto says. "I'm only checking to see if he's still there. If he is, I'll keep watch, make sure he doesn't make a run for it. You wait here for Riptide and then you two can come and 'back me up'."

"I'll go with you, just in case," Raven says. "If he's there, I'll drive the car back and wait for Riptide."

"Fine, we need to move now before it gets dark," Magneto relents, as they make their way to the car. He doesn't bother with keys and just turns on the engine and drives the car using his powers. They park the car, Magneto waits inside and Raven shifts into Mike the mechanic, walks into the park office and asks the man at the desk about the guy she dropped off two days ago.

"I can't divulge information about our guests," the man says.

"That's fine, it's just that the guy was trying to buy spare parts from me, so I wanted to get a hold of him, see if he still needs them." Raven says casually.

"He asked me today about a car rental," the man tell her. "I told him if he needs something fixed, about a mile from here there's maintenance and fuel, but if he needs to rent one it's ten miles away. He said he'd check it out in the morning."

"Thanks, maybe I'll catch him around," she waves at him as she leaves. She waits a few minutes, before she shifts into their mysterious Mutant and walks back into the office, claiming she misplaced her key. The man tells her she'll have to pay for the replacement and she agrees, asking that it'd be put on the room charge. And what do you know, the key even has the cabin number on it. She walks triumphantly to Magneto, waving the key at him.

They walk to the end of the park, where the cabin is located. They hide behind some trees and Raven shifts back to her natural form. The lights are out and it appears their Mutant isn't inside. 

"He didn't leave long ago, the chimney is still smoking," Magneto says observantly. "Go back to the Inn and get Riptide, I'll stay here and watch for the Mutant."

"That's sweet, but I don't need watching over."

They both turn in surprise to see the Mutant standing a few feet from them. "So who are you guys- cops? Feds? What's with the costume?" he motions at Raven with his head. "Doesn't matter, you won't live long enough to tell the tale."

He points to the ground and everything around them starts shaking. Raven loses her footing and Magneto pulls out a hunting knife and hurls it with his powers at the Mutant. The man points one hand at the projectile and it crumbles. "Whoa, how did you-?"

"Magneto!" Raven yells as she falls through a crack in the snow-covered ground, holding onto the edge.

"We're like you, stop the earthquake." Magneto instructs him, throwing any metal he stored on his person at the man, hoping to knock him out.

The man hesitates and stops the quakes. Magneto reaches out to Raven, only to hear a growing rumble.

"Oops," the man says with a wince. "Gotta go, best of luck to you." he runs off and Magneto looks up in time to see an avalanche heading their way. He grabs Raven and manages to levitate them a few inches from the ground, using his belts buckle and metal on his boots. The avalanche gains speed and magnitude, a rising wall of white ready to devour them whole. He flies them to the cabin and uses his power to unlock the door. Raven grasps the handle and pulls the door open and closes it behind them, while Magneto locks it. They both lean heavily on the door in time to feel the snow pounding at the door and the walls, before the cabin is engulfed in total darkness.

~*~

It's pitch black and dead quiet. Raven can hear her heart pounding in her head and she calls out quietly: "Magneto?"

"Just a moment." he answers from somewhere to her left and she can hear his clothes rustling as he moves. "Got it." Before she can ask what, a blinding light erupts and she blinks several times, clearing the spots. 

"Let there be light," Magneto says sardonically. "The electricity is still working at least, that's a good sign."

Raven looks at the window and sees nothing but snow. She tries opening it, but it's stuck. She goes to the door, only to have the lock turning on itself before she gets there. She opens the door a fraction and sees that the snow covers the entire doorway, blocking it. "We're snowed in." Raven says needlessly.

"So it would appear," Magneto agrees. "We'll have to dig our way out." He reaches out a hand and calls to him any free metal object inside the cabin and shapes them into digging tools. 

Raven goes from room to room, taking stock of what they have to deal with. She finds a bag with clothes, some toiletry and a few maps of different States- their Mutant didn't leave behind too many personal effects. She finishes in the kitchen and opens the few cabinets and a cooler. Canned corn, peaches in syrup, canned tuna, some biscuits, two orange juice cartons and a bag of pretzels. She goes to the faucet to check if they have running water, when she feels it shaking. "Leave the faucet alone, unless you want a flood." She warns Magneto. 

He shrugs and starts using the makeshift shovels to dig, sitting in a chair in the living area, facing his work. Raven grabs some wooden utensils and joins him, physically shoveling alongside the metal. They take a few water breaks, but otherwise they keep at it, digging for hours. Raven's muscles ache and she's hot and sweaty, but she refuses to stop. Magneto doesn't show any sign of fatigue, other than a frown line between his brows and a tightness to his mouth. At some point Raven glances at the clock on the wall and discovers that it's almost midnight and they've been digging for hours.

"We need a break," she says tiredly, dropping her 'shovels'. 

"So take a break," Magneto pays her no heed as he keeps digging, using his power. 

"We need to conserve our strength and eat something," Raven reasons. "If we didn't get out by now, the snow's piled on too high. It'll take time and in the mean time we need to pace ourselves, do this smart." She's proud that she's even capable of rational thought when she knows panic is nipping at her subconscious and will paralyze her if she lets it.

"You're right," he says and drops his shovels in disgust. "I can stop hundreds of missiles, raise a submarine- but I can't dig my way out of a snowed-in cabin." Raven wisely stays silent and a moment later he joins her and inspects the items of food. "We need to ration it, make sure it lasts as long as possible."

"How long do you think we'll be here?" She asks worriedly. 

"We missed the rendezvous with Riptide- he would have assumed something went wrong. Maybe he'll go looking for us, maybe he'll decide to wait till morning. We're supposed to meet Azazel tomorrow at around nine AM. They'll search for us. Azazel can cover more ground and Riptide can help plow the snow out the way. Hopefully it will take hours or a day at most, but we need to prepare ourselves to the possibility that we might be here days at least."

"Right." she swallows thickly. "Well, you should have a bigger portion, because you're doing most of the digging."

"No," he says vehemently. "We both eat the same portions. I will not have you waste away on my account." There's an edge to his words that promises a story, but Raven knows not to pry. She watches silently as Magneto pours a half a cup of orange juice in two cups and puts on two plates a spoonful of tuna, a spoonful of corn and two biscuits each. They take the plates to the living area and sit on the same sofa. They eat in companionable silent, until Raven can't stand the quiet.

"It's kinda funny you know," she says with a sardonic grin. "You're always making sure our place is fully stocked and you end up snowed in with an empty pantry."

"Hilarious," he rolls his eyes. "I seem to recall you participating in the shopping quite often."

"That's because I get it," she says, taking a small sip of her orange juice. 

"Get what?"

"Why you do it," she motions with her plastic fork towards the kitchen. Magneto stays silent, eyeing her contemplatively, so she boldly goes on. "My parents weren't too happy when they found out they had a freak for a daughter," Raven says quietly, looking Magneto in the eye. "I was living on the streets from a very young age with only myself to count on. I'd use my powers to hide and to get food, but sometimes it'd be days..." 

She seems lost in a memory before continuing. "It's how I met Charles. I was starving and I figured this big mansion, they must have food, right? I could just break in, take some food, break out and nobody would know or even miss it. Charles caught me and I tried to pretend to be his mother, but it's hard to fool a telepath. He took me in and I grew up in the mansion with him, but I... I kept this box of food in my closet. And every day I'd sneak something from the kitchen and put in the box. Charles never understood why."

"No matter how comfortable your life became, you couldn't forget the time when you had no food. You were trying to plan for a 'rainy day', as they say." Magneto has no pity in his voice, no sympathy. But it still fills her with warmth to know he understands.

"It was my 'just in case' box. 'Just in case something happens to the cook', 'just in case the kitchen burns down', 'Just in case Kurt-his step father- kicks me out', 'just in case Charles gets tired of me'," she shrugs self-consciously. "Better safe than sorry, right? Eventually I realized Charles was going to keep me and as long as I stick to him we could face anything life threw at us, so I got rid of the box."

"It seems neither of us planned well for this occasion," Erik says ruefully, gaining a short bark of laugh from Raven. 

"I definitely should have made a 'just in case we're snowed-in by a crazy Mutant' box." She says grinning. 

"We should get some rest, at dawn we'll resume digging," he says finally. "The boiler isn't working so there isn't any hot water for a shower, neither is the air conditioning unit. The furnace is out of the question for heat."

"Ok," Raven says, absorbing the information. "So icy showers and a pile of blankets, got it."

"The blankets won't be enough," Erik says frowning. "It's getting colder and we won't be active to preserve our core temperature. We need to sleep together to preserve body heat." Raven's golden eyes widen a fraction, before realizing he probably doesn't mean it like it sounds. 

"Well as much as hypothermia sounds like a blast," she says dryly. "I think I'll pass this time. Cuddling it is." Magneto walks out of the room towards the bedroom, muttering something about not being the 'cuddling type'. Raven smirks as she follows him inside and is about to close the door when he calls out to her.

"Keep the door partially open, we need some flow of air," Magneto instructs her, as he throws as many blankets as possible on the bed, before shedding his winter jacket and starting to strip. Raven goes under the covers and tries not to enjoy the view too much. She counts the scars and memorizes the number on his arm, trying to take in as much of him as possible. She knows she might not get another opportunity to see him like this again, laid bare before her without his armor. He strips to his boxers and climbs into the bed. 

It takes them a few awkward moments to arrange themselves comfortably, without elbowing or kneeing each other. He ends up wrapped around her and though it's the furthest thing from sexy she could possibly imagine- both of them shivering and trying to stay warm and alive- her heart still skips a beat when she feels his weight pressed against her back and she can fantasize it's under different circumstances. Preferably on a warm beach somewhere, like the Bahamas.

~*~

They wake up at dawn. "We need to dig as much as possible now, before the temperatures drop again in the evening," Magneto tell her, as he splashes ice water on his face and layers up. She has no clothes of her own and she's a bit cold, so she creates some from her skin. They go into the kitchen and eat another ration of food, before getting back to work.

"I hate Nebraska," Raven mutters to herself, as she continues to dig through the snow. Magneto doesn't bother answering, too busy using his powers to dig their way out through the snow. They spend hours digging- Raven with her wooden utensils and Magneto alternating between using his powers and digging physically to produce heat. Half way through the dig Raven is too exhausted and she has to shift back to her nude self, in order to maintain her strength. They drink as much as possible, take short breaks and have another meal in the evening before it's too cold to dig anymore. They go back to the bedroom and huddle on the bed.

"I'm going to kill that Mutant when I get a hold of him," Raven says angrily. "And do you know I found in his bag a geological map of California? What on _**Earth**_ was he going to do with that?"

"When we find him, you can ask him," Magneto says darkly. "Before he suffers a slow and painful death."

"God I wish we had a heat-related Mutant," Raven says dreamily. "Maybe a fire-breather or a flame-thrower."

"If wishes were horses-," Magneto starts to say, before Raven turns around and glares at him.

"We're in a snowed-in cabin miles from civilization, we haven't had a proper shower in almost two days and are slowly starving to death-"

"Actually, I believe we will die from asphyxiation long before the food runs out," Magneto says thoughtfully. "The air is getting thin and we're using up quite a bit of it when we work."

"Perfect," Raven says jovially. "Thank you for cheering me up."

"I'm telling you the truth. I'm sorry if it's not the sugar-coated lie you wanted to hear-"

"Forget it," Raven says angrily. "I shouldn't have expected you to act like a decent human-sorry _**Mutant**_ being." She's sullen for a while, lying on her side next to him and trying not to cry in exasperation.

"A heat-generating Mutant would be useful," Magneto finally relents. "Or a weather-controlling one."

"Someone who can control the weather- all of it?" Raven turns around, intrigued. "Like blizzards, thunder, wind- all that stuff?"

"Ch- Xavier thought he found one in Cerebro, back at the CIA," Magneto explains. "She was young with shocking white hair. But she was in Egypt and it was beyond our reach at the time."

"Wow," Raven says reverently. "That's cool." There's another stretch of silence before Raven smiles wryly and says: "You know, if you wanted to take me to a romantic ski trip, you could have taken me to the Alps."

Magneto chuckles dryly. "I'll bear that in mind next time."

"Or we can go to Hawaii- some place warm and dry, with no snow."

"Hmmm," he says half-heartedly, his eyes closed in fatigue. She watches him for a few moments. Without his helmet he looks like a mere mortal, like a tired man who's seen too much, experienced too much in his life time. He's handsome, for sure, with a strong jaw, sharp cheekbones and gorgeous green eyes hiding behind his eyelids. 

Suddenly all she wants to do is brush away the creases on his forehead and trace his lips with her fingers. She watches his chest rise and fall and she knows it's now or never. She edges closer to him, until their faces are inches apart. He opens his eyes and is about to say something when she plunges forward and kisses him. He lets her in, kissing her hesitantly back, before gently pushing her away.

"Mystique-"

 ** _'Well isn't this comfy?'_** Reverberates in their minds.

"Emma," they say at the same time, relieved and aggravated.

 ** _'The one and only'_** , Raven swears she hears the smirk in her voice. **_'Now do you want to be rescued, or are you enjoying your romantic getaway?'_**

"We're in a snowed in cabin outside of Omaha," Magneto says out loud. He closes his eyes and Raven knows he's showing Emma their location.

 ** _'I already know honey, but thanks for the pictures. I'm directing Azazel to your exact location,'_** Emma says to both of them. **_'Don't go anywhere.'_** She's gone from their minds, leaving behind sensation of pinpricks and needles.

They get out of the bed and Magneto gets his clothes on quickly. Raven can't help but curse Emma for her timing. Not that she isn't glad for the rescue, but she's not sure what Magneto was going to say and that left her in a bit of limbo. Was he going to tell her to come back (again) when she was older? Tell her he's just not interested? Would he have figured they're dying anyway and gone for it?

They walk into the living area right as Azazel appears. He holds out Magneto's helmet and says: "Thought you might need this." Magneto nods and takes the helmet wordlessly, placing it on his head. Azazel grabs both of their shoulders and they're back at Magneto's room in the Inn, with Emma sprawled out in front of the fire place.

"Do you like my new winter collection?" She asks, her hand gliding along her warm white fur coat.

"It's _**divine**_ ," Magneto drawls as he and Raven edge closer to the warm fire. "How did you find us?"

"Well," Emma says with a hint of enthusiasm. "When you didn't show up, Riptide met Azazel alone. Angel and I were just finishing up in Washington- it went splendid by the way- when Azazel told us you two went missing. Riptide went off to look for the Mutant, while Angel, Azazel and I covered as much ground as we could. Angel's wings have healed very nicely you know, she's able to fly longer distances-"

"That Mutant created an avalanche, snowing us in," Magneto says with venom.

"Beware of Greeks bearing gifts?" Emma offers. Magneto gives her a withering look. "Too soon?"

"I want him found." Magneto sneers. 

"Already done," Emma sighs dramatically. "He claims it was an accident and that he's awfully sorry. He helped me pin-point your location."

"Where is he now?"

"With Riptide and Angel at the safe house. Riptide, with Azazel's help, gave him quite the recruitment speech," Emma gives a small sly grin. 

"We don't-"

"Force anyone to join our crusade against their will, I know," Emma rolls her eyes. "They simply explained the benefits of joining our little group and what we hope to accomplish in the future. He told them he has big plans of his own, but he can post-pone them for a while."

"I don't even want to know," Magneto says with a hint of fatigue. "In the mean time, I think it prudent that Azazel spend as much time as possible 'training' this new Mutant-"

"Avalanche," Emma says with a shrug. "It seems you've been a source of inspiration."

"Avalanche then," Magneto relents, giving Azazel a pointed look. "He needs special training."

"I'll help," Raven offers evilly. Azazel grins at her maliciously and she can't help but smirk.

"Speaking of which, much as I enjoy breaking out a new gorgeous attire, I think we should head back."

"I agree," Magneto says, then after a pause: "You've done a good job."

Emma and Azazel look at each other with baffled looks. "I think we need to get our fearless leader out of the cold," Emma says, with a twinkle in her eye. "He's starting to go soft on us."

"Cabin fever," Azazel agrees, his tail swishing in amusement. "Must be delirious."

"I think the safe house needs scrubbing," Magneto warns them, though the corner of his mouth is tugging upwards slightly. "Especially the bathrooms." Neither say another word as Emma reaches out for Raven's hand and Azazel grabbed her and Magneto and they disappear in a puff of red smoke.


	4. Chapter 4

They're in Paris when it finally happens. Raven always knew this day would come and she should have known it would happen _**here**_.

Everything was going well with the Brotherhood. Avalanche was adjusting and Raven and Angel were getting along. Even Emma was friendlier, especially after Raven and Emma went on a recon mission together in England, giving Emma a chance to perfect a fake English accent. Emma seems to respect her abilities if not her herself and Raven can admit that Emma is very good at what she does. Magneto is still the scary leader, but even he seems to have found his sense of humor again and spends more time with them than before. Magneto and Raven never talk about their Cabin experience, but they are a lot more comfortable around one another.

They are always discussing and making plans: What should be the Mutants' big move against the Human Government and when? Raven knows Azazel and Emma are pushing for an immediate strike, while Magneto wants to wait until they've recruited more Mutants and have a proper army.

"The guy that almost blew up Soviet and American ships and started World War III is telling us to be patient," Angel says with amusement. "If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the Professor was controlling his mind." Raven doesn't argue, but she knows Charles can rub off on you, whether you want him to or not.

It was Emma's idea to go to Paris. Her contacts informed her of a possible new recruit- a carnival mentalist, traveling with them throughout Europe.

"It'll be our first global recruiting," Magneto says contemplatively. "We need to be careful not to attract any unwanted attention- at least not until we're ready to make our move."

"We already have the USSR and the US Governments after us," Emma says with a grin. "What's one more?"

"In and out," Magneto warns her. "Just you, me and Mystique." Raven's head shoots up at the mention of her name and she tries to smother a grin. They started taking her on more covert missions and she was becoming essential to the cause.

"Let the kids come," Emma says generously. "They can wander around Paris, get some culture. They'll be safer from the American Government in Paris than here."

"Fine," Magneto relents. "But always stay together or in pairs- don't split up and don't wander off at night on your own."

"We're going international baby!" Angel whoops with joy, high-fiving Raven and Riptide.

"And no schemes," Magneto warns Avalanche. "We don't want to attract any attention."

"You're no fun," Avalanche mutters. His watch suddenly gives him a 'love tap' on his head. "Ouch! Ok, ok, no shenanigans, I promise!"

And that was how they ended up in Paris. Raven goes on the first recon- checking the general area of the carnival the day of the show, before shifting into one of the workers and exploring the place thoroughly. The evening of the performance Emma and Magneto go alone- Emma's powers would give her the best defense against the new Mutant and if Magneto's helmet keeps out telepaths, it might help against illusions. Azazel stays around the carnival area, in case there's any trouble, figuring he could always blend in there. The rest would be too exposed, so they stay behind in their hotel rooms, eating room-service and watching television.

At some point Angel kicks Raven out of their shared room to spend some 'quality' time with Riptide. Raven decides to go to Riptide and Avalanche's room and she and Avalanche spend their time perfecting their powers. Raven mimics her team members and their mannerisms and Avalanche works on crumbling objects, without affecting anything else and without ruining the hotel room beyond repair. 

The mission is a success and a new Mutant calling himself Mastermind is recruited. Emma manages to get them another day in Paris to wander around, before heading back. Raven goes with Angel window shopping at high scale stores- Angel tries the clothes on in the stores and Raven later creates them for herself, when they leave. She and Angel are having a good time sight seeing, playing tourists and trying to get by with broken French. They're taking pictures at the top of the Eiffel Tower when Raven is hit with sudden homesickness.

 _'Charles'_ , she thinks with intense longing. Paris was _**their**_ city, or at least it was _**supposed**_ to be. Back when Charles was studying at Oxford and Raven was waiting tables, she had this dream of touring Europe.

_"I've never been to Paris, and it's not that far away," Raven told him one evening, while he was working on his presentation._

_"So why don't you go?" Charles asked her, a bit distracted._

_"I want **us** to go," she told him, grabbing his hand. "It could be our world tour. Or even just Paris- I always wanted to go."_

_"I can't right now, Raven," Charles sighed. "I have my presentation..." He paused at the crestfallen look on her face and quickly amended. "But after- once I graduate, we'll go. Just for a few days."_

_"Really?" She asked giddily. "After your graduate- you promise?"_

_"I promise," he smiled and kissed her cheek._

When he was almost finished, Raven went out and bought a guide book and started highlighting places she wanted to go to. Then Charles gave his presentation and graduated, they went out to a pub to celebrate and Moira found them. Charles quickly forgot about Paris, saying that this was a golden opportunity and they could always go in a few weeks, once he's done helping the CIA.

 _'We'll always have Paris,'_ Raven thinks bitterly. _'Your research was always more important than anything else, more important than what **I** wanted.'_ Yet as much as she tries to hate him, she can't. It's part of what makes him _**Charles**_ \- there will always be others out there, others that need to bask in the goodness that is Charles Xavier. She tried to keep him to herself, but Charles was meant to make a difference, to touch lives and help people.

~*~

When they get back to The States, Raven waits until they are alone and then corners Azazel. She sweetens her voice like Emma always does and brushes her fingers over his arm. "I need a favor."

"What favor?" He asks her suspiciously.

"I need you to take me to Westchester," she says conspiratorially.

"You're going behind enemy lines," Azazel says reprovingly. "You can't go back."

"I'm not going back and they're not our enemies," Raven says sternly. _'Not yet, anyway. I doubt they'll sit by idly when we make a stand against the oppressing government.'_

"I just need to see him. I won't talk to them, I just..." she sighs and gives him a pleading look. "We left in such a hurry at the beach and we just left them there. I haven't seen my brother in so long, I just... I just want to make sure he's ok."

"Emma will know," Azazel warns. "I doubt Magneto will be happy."

"It was my idea, I'll take the fall for it." Raven says, before dropping her tone and giving him a playful look. "You just couldn't resist my feminine wiles."

"They're very irresistible," Azazel smirks at her, giving her an appreciative look that makes her blush. "I will drop you off a few minutes walk from the mansion, so we're not detected. I can give you half an hour, then you need to come back."

"That's fine," Raven agrees quickly. She's not sure if this is a good plan or not, but it's too late to back down. Azazel takes her hand and they're gone. She's suddenly back home, after months of absence in the wooden area she used to play in as a child. She takes in a big gulp of the cold night air and feels a tension melting from her shoulders. She's **home**.

"Half an hour," Azazel reminds her. "I will wait here." He disappears and she starts making her way to the Mansion, trying not to think too loudly. She doesn't want to attract any attention, mostly because she's not sure if she can face any of them yet, especially Charles.

She's hiding behind some trees, watching her childhood home, hoping for some activity. If she can't see anything in the next thirty minutes, this whole trip is a waste. She sighs and realizes she has to take a risk and get closer. She goes to the trees outside Charles' office's window and climbs the one she knows has the best view, but can't be easily seen from the window in the dark. She sits on a branch and catches her first sight of Charles since the beach. He's sitting at his desk, writing something, every now and then he bites the tip of his pen in that adorable way of his, when he's trying to concentrate.

 _'You haven't changed a bit,'_ Raven thinks fondly, only it's not true. He looks a little pale and he has bags under his eyes, like he hasn't been sleeping well. His mouth is set in a grim line, so unlike his usual expression and he seems to have gained some arm muscles, from what she can see.

There must be a knock at the door, because she can see Charles mouthing _'come in'_. She sees Sean and Alex bounding in, excited about something. Charles turns towards them, only he doesn't get up to do it, he just spins and moves the chair forward with both arms, gliding to the center of the room-

 _'No,'_ Raven thinks horrified. _'No, it can't be, it can't be.'_ Charles is in a wheelchair. When- when did it happen? Was he in a car accident or-

**Charles' cry as the bullet ricochets and hits him in the back. The sight of him crumpling to the ground. There wasn't any blood on the bullet, but it hit him in the lower back, where the spine is... He didn't move, didn't try to get up...**

_'NononopleaseGodno this is our fault, I wouldn't- if I'd known, I wouldn't- Oh God **Charles** ,'_ she feels the tears stinging her eyes as she lets out a sob.

Charles suddenly pauses and turns his chair towards the window, searching with his eyes. **_'Raven?'_** She panics and quickly climbs down the tree, jumping down the last branch and skinning her knees. **_'Raven, wait-_** '

But she doesn't want to wait. Doesn't want to find out what he wants to tell her, so she hits the ground running and doesn't stop until she's at the spot Azazel left her earlier. She falls to her knees as she tries to catch her breath and control her sobbing. She did this to him. She knows logically that Moira fired the shot and Magneto deflected it, but she abandoned him when he was crip- when he needed her the most. _'He told me to go,'_ she thinks to herself. _'I shouldn't have listened to him. I was being selfish, I should have stayed until I knew he was ok, why did he tell me to go-?'_

She takes in long shaky breaths, as she tries to get a hold of herself, wiping furiously at her eyes. She's not sure how long she sat there, her thoughts churning in her head like a whirlwind, going in circles with an echo of _'my fault, my fault'_. Eventually she straightens, having made a decision. She pushes down on every emotion and thought until it's stuffed inside a box in her mind. Azazel finds her and she must look pitiful, because he gives her hand a gently squeeze, before wordlessly teleporting them back.

~*~

Raven is tired and her head hurts from crying and she just wants to crawl into bed, but Emma is there waiting for them when they get back.

"Where were you?" She asks needlessly, as she stabs her way into Raven's head, tugging at the recent memories. It hurts and it hurts even more reliving it a second time. In a flash it's over and Raven feels completely hollowed out.

"That's interesting," Emma says eventually.

"What is?" Magneto asks, as he walks over to them. His eyes catch Raven's face. "Why are you-?"

"She went back to Westchester," Emma replies instead of her. "She was homesick. It appears the Professor didn't leave Cuba intact."

"What do you mean?" Magneto's voice is a jagged blade, waiting to strike.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Emma says carefully. "It appears he's crippled."

Magneto doesn't say a word. Every metal in their vicinity starts pounding furiously. "Leave. Everyone." Metal objects start flying in the air in every direction. Azazel grabs Emma and Raven and takes them to another safe house of theirs, before disappearing and returning with the others.

"What happened to Magneto?" Riptide asks, fixing his jacket. "I've never seen him like that."

"He just got some very bad news about an old friend," Emma says gently, heading to one of the bedrooms. "I need my beauty sleep. Wake me up when it's safe to return."

"Take me back," Raven tells Azazel.

"Are you nuts? Boss-man is obviously unhinged," Avalanche says. "It's suicide!"

"I can deal with him," she tells Azazel. "I can get to him."

"It's your funeral," Azazel shrugs and drops her back before disappearing to safety. It's quiet now and looks like a war-zone. The walls have dents in them, or silverware stuck in them and there are puddles of metal all around.

"Magneto?" She calls out hesitantly. making her way towards his room, somewhere she's never entered before. She debates whether to knock, but in the end she just slowly opens the door, trying to do it as loudly as possible. The room is dark and it takes her eyes a short time to adjust. She can see a figure sitting on the floor next to his bed. "Magneto?"

"Go away Mystique," he says, sounding more tired than those days they were stuck in a cabin in Nebraska.

"No," she says, getting into the room and fumbling for the light switch on the wall, before finding it. A soft glow illuminates the room and Magneto blinks a few times.

"I said go away, and that's an order." A metal bar from the window lifts and smashes into the wall besides her head.

"I'm not going anywhere," Mystique glares at him. "Tonight you don't get to give me orders, Erik. You want to throw a tantrum? A one man pity-party in you room? Fine, but tomorrow you need to get you act together and man up."

"Excuse me?" Magneto says dangerously, the metal in the room twisting and warping into daggers. "What do you think gives you the right to talk to me like that?"

"You crippled my brother," Mystique's tone is equally icy and she meets his eyes levelly. "Tonight I get to talk to you however the hell I like." His head snaps as if slapped and she gives him a humorless smile. "Did I hurt your feelings? I'm just telling you the truth. I'm sorry if it's not the sugar-coated lie you wanted to hear."

"You don't know that it happened on the beach," the daggers twirl in the air once, before launching at the walls in no obvious pattern. 

"You don't know that it _**didn't,**_ " she counters. "He didn't just fall, he _**crumpled**_ , like a puppet after you cut off its strings. He didn't get up, he didn't move his legs that whole time."

"Even if that's true, it was an accident," Erik swallows, the remaining daggers hesitantly lowering, shaking. "And that _**human**_ -"

"Moira shouldn't have been shooting at you, not when Charles was right behind you," Mystique agrees. "But you could have just stopped the bullet, or sent it back to her, or taken her gun away, or a million other things. But you were angry and out of control and showing off," she spits angrily. "It's your fault he's in a wheelchair, possibly for the rest of his life and a part of me will never forgive you for what you did to him," she says before adding calmly: "Just like a part of me will never forgive myself for leaving him."

"Then what are you still doing here?" Magneto challenges. "Go crawling back to him, if that's what you want."

"I _**can't**_ ," she says angrily. "Don't you get it? We can't go back, we can _**never**_ take it back. Even if you manage to find a Mutant with healing abilities or can time travel and change things- it still happened, we still did it to him and nothing can change that. I made a choice that day on the beach, I chose to follow you; I left him because I believed in you."

"So you chose to follow me around like an eager puppy, the same way you used to follow him around," Magneto says with a sneer. 

"That's rich coming from you," Mystique smiles cruelly. "Why did you even stay with us in the Mansion? Why did you even train with us, Mr. one-man-army-doesn't-need-anyone?" Her eyes soften slightly. "You fell into his web, with his big blue eyes and easy smile. You knew the two of you didn't see eye-to-eye and never would, but you still stayed there, hoping you could convince him you were right."

"Are you quite finished?" Erik asks tiredly, some of the fight ebbing out of him.

"Not yet. You said I followed Charles like a puppy and maybe you're right. Charles was _**everything**_ to me. He was my savior and brother and I hoped- he was the best thing in my life! He was always kind and caring and so damn understanding. I put Charles on a pedestal and was mad when he wasn't perfect." She looks him in the eye and she suddenly feels worn-out. "You're about the furthest thing from perfect I can imagine. You're distant, dangerous and a broken mess. That's why I followed you on the beach."

"So you could 'fix me'?" Magneto asks, his tone mocking.

"No. People like us, we can't be fixed," Mystique takes a step towards him. "We can pretend to be normal, try and fit in for his sake, but it's fake, simply a mask we put on. Deep down we know that we're marked, that we're just damaged goods and don't belong in his world. I tried to be what Charles would want me to be- a normal girl, a good sister. I tried so hard to be this person, I even managed to fool myself for a while." She laughs bitterly and meets his eyes, her eyes hard and glassy with unshed tears.

"You know what the funniest thing is? In all the years that Charles and I have known each other, in all the times he's been in my head- I don't think he ever saw me as clearly as you did that night in your room. You saw me for who I really was. And you can hide behind that helmet all you want, and I might not know the details, but I _**know**_. I know who you really are." She's closing the distance between them. He doesn't say a word, simply watches her approach warily.

"So do whatever you need to do," Mystique tells him. "Melt every metal in the safe house, wreck the furniture, cry into your whiskey- I don't care. Tomorrow when the others get back, you need to be the fearless leader they deserve, the man that they'll follow into battle."

"You've grown up," Erik says, seeing her in a new light. 

"I've been told War does that to people," she says pointedly. "I'm done standing on the sidelines, I'm done being passive. I'm not going to let Human Society tell me what's right or how I should look or what I should do. I want to one day be able to walk outside in my natural form without being afraid. And I've decided I'm going after the things I want."

"And what's that?" Erik asks, eyeing her with a measuring look.

"Right now? What we started that night in your room." She grabs his neck and kisses his mouth. She feels him hesitating, holding himself back. "I want this," she pleads, kissing the side of his mouth. "I'll be anyone you want, just let me have this tonight."

"Kinky," Erik smiles and there's a feral look in his eye. "Maybe some other night. Right now you're perfect just the way you are." He kisses her possessively, marking her with nips and teeth, his helmet bumping into the side of her face. She grabs it with both hands and he stops, quickly grabbing her hands.

"Take it off," she tells him. "Just for tonight." Erik hesitates for what feels like a millennia, before he nods and slowly takes the helmet off. His hair is unkempt and matted to the side of his face, but it doesn't matter to her.

She helps him undress impatiently and they fall in tangled limbs on the bed. He's not gentle, but he's not brutal and it's exactly what she wants, what they both need. She wonders if he ever got this far with Charles, if it was anything like this. She suddenly wonders what it's like having sex as a man and has a desire to find out, but Erik is trailing kisses down her chest, devoting his attention to her nipples. She arches her back and grabs his hair, wrapping her long legs around him. 

They're like two drowning people clinging to each other for life. They have sex like they're death raw inmates on their last night before execution. There's need and haste, tampered with a desire to cherish the moment, to memorize every aspect of their partner. There's regret and loss behind every kiss and every touch. 

She knows that this is pure raw emotion, that with Magneto there will be no flowers and chocolate, but she doesn't expect it anymore. Back at the mansion, she believed in fairy tale endings, thought that as long as Charles was there, the world would make sense. She was swept up in Charles' boundless optimism, but deep down she knew it couldn't last- good things never did, as far as Raven was concerned, and she'd have to leave Never Never Land eventually and grow up. But Charles would remain the eternal innocent child, untouched by the evil around him, by the broken people he takes in. 

While Raven would love nothing more than to have Charles by their side, she also hopes for his sake that it never happens. Charles is like a perfect snowflake- something that should be cherished and preserved, not tainted. She doesn't want him to be jaded, to look at the world and see the ugliness of it- that's what people like her and Erik are for.

"Mystique," Erik mouths her name into her neck, like a plea or a prayer. She rakes her nails across his back and finds his mouth with hers, not wanting to lose contact for one second. 

She knows that Erik let her in, that he exposed himself to her in a way he hasn't to a living soul, besides Charles. Knows that while the others might come and go, she'll always remain- Magneto's loyal lieutenant to the bitter end. The others don't know what it's like, to be touched by the pureness and goodness of Charles, to see a look of disappointment on his face and want to be better, because he _**deserves**_ better. They don't know what it's like to love Charles and be loved by him in return. 

What Magneto and mystique have may not be perfect and maybe it's not meant to be- but destiny can wait. Because even if tonight is the only time, he let her in, let her see him unmasked. Their broken edges fit perfectly against one another and she knows their bond is strong. Tomorrow they'll bury their emotions behind metal walls, so that they can function and be what is needed of them. And when they make their move, they'll be prepared for the possibility that Charles and his Lost Boys will try and stop them. They won't set out to hurt them, but they won't have their 'kiddy gloves' on either. 

They won't show any weaknesses, not in front of the rest of the Brotherhood. They're fighting for the survival of their race, for every Mutant out there in the world. And their cause is more important than Raven or Erik or even Charles. 

But when they're together again, just the two of them in the darkness of their life, they'll allow themselves to remember and to regret.


End file.
